Saturday, January 31, 2009


It all started at the 9:00 am Celebrate service at our church. In the bulletin, plain as day, it said "Turkeys needed."

We finished church, went out to lunch with some friends, and I went back to present myself. "You wanted some turkeys, did you not? Here I am!"

"No, not people," I was told. "Birds. We are 60 turkeys short for our thankgiving baskets that we prepare and distribute to families who are struggling financially."

Well. Now I had a mission. Costco is the cheapest place, but my wife told me they have no turkeys at all. I know she was wrong, because I met one in the parking lot last time I was there. No matter, I would take her word for it.

Off we go to Safeway. Their special was $.29 a pound. Wow! Ten turkeys would be cheap to buy. I loaded up my shopping cart full of plump turkeys and rolled up to an available cashier - a young man probably still in high school. He looked at my cart and said, "Only one turkey is allowed per customer."

I said, "You are only permitted to BUY one turkey, or you only GET THE DISCOUNT on one turkey?"

He was very clear on what he had been instructed. "Only one turkey per customer."

I said, "OK, we'll go through the line 10 times!"

He replied, "That would not make any difference. You are only allowed one turkey per customer."

"These are not for us," I said. "Our church needs turkeys to give to the poor. I am not expecting to get a discount in price. I only want to buy ten turkeys."

"Let me call the manager", was his wise reply. After a long wait the manager came over. It was obvious why she was the manager. Competent, decisive, problem solver. The cashier explained our devious plan, to buy MORE than one turkey, but that it was to give to our church for poor families."

"OK. The first one rang through at $.29 a pound. This special costs us $11.0 per turkey. The rest of them you have to pay full price for. Do you understand that?"

"Of course. We expected that. We just want to buy ten turkeys."

"You know what?" she said, "I am going to ring all the rest of them up at $.39 a pound. That shouldn't cost you too much. Is that OK with you?

"Of course! We don't even expect that!"

With that the competent manager walked off. The customers were grateful. The cashier rang the ten turkeys up.

We went to the church to deliver our turkeys. Come to find out - one of our friends was there with - no not TEN turkeys, but THIRTEEN. WHAT is with THAT!

So now you know the story of how we came up with a nefarious scheme to plunder Safeway of 10 turkeys.

And how we were outdone by a more generous friend.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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